Since reading the original blog by the anonymous photographer late last night, a response has been running through my head all day and now I have a spare five minutes, I will endeavour to put my ramblings down into some kind of logical order. But, forgive me if it doesn’t read completely coherently – it’s been a long day!
Who am I to say?
As a brand new blogger, let me acknowledge straight away that I am nowhere near an expert when it comes to the world of blogging, nor do I claim to know everything there is to know about the many amazing wedding blogs around right now. I also have a terribly personality flaw that forces me to always wonder what I could possibly add that hasn’t already been said. However, as a new bride, and someone who had their wedding rejected by a very well known wedding blog, while still in the depressed post-wedding state of mind(!), I feel that I may have a slightly different take on things. I’m simply trying to put across an alternative viewpoint while not at all trying to cause offence to bloggers, brides or photographers alike. Mine is not a knee-jerk reaction to reading a scathing attack on wedding bloggers (even if some was rather funny!); it’s just how I see things!
Is it really brides & photographers versus blogs?
In an ideal world, of course, no. Blogs provide an amazing, revolutionary way of showcasing, sharing and debating wedding styles, design, suppliers & producers. However, bloggers must never underestimate the emotional impact a rejection from a blog can have on a bride. I’ve concluded that it evokes emotional memories of school days – of that dreaded sinking feeling when you look around at the cool kids, the clever kids, the popular kids and ask yourself that bubble bursting “Where do I fit in?” question. So, where did my wedding fit in? Obviously not the place I wanted it to. Which is fine. Of course it is. Of course we all understand, deep down, really truly, that just because our wedding has received a message (which may have rather resembled a quickly scribbled note) saying “Thank, but no thanks.” doesn’t mean that our wedding was any less worthy than anyone else’s, that we should have styled things more, that we should have taken better lit photographs in the corn field, that we should have had better looking guests.
So, would I have changed anything at all about my wedding just to appear on this particular blog? No bloomin’ way. Of course not. My wedding day was the best day of my life because I made damn sure I wasn’t following trends for the sake of it but that the wedding reflected us and was not planned to suit the readers of published material. But it still smarts to be reminded of those school day feelings – of a time where maybe you aren’t cool enough, skinny enough, pretty enough, clever enough, quirky enough (and who would have thought that I would actually wish to be geeky!!)
Blogging & the blogger
Having said all this, wedding blogging is certainly not the evil, self-righteous monster it was suggested to be in the original comments. Most bloggers do it because of a love for the industry – because they want to showcase amazing weddings to help other busy brides to be who would like inspiration from others. All of that is fine, but surely this must be the first priority – that the personality of the blogger, while important, is second to those things.
What’s the point?
I’ve heard lots of negative comments about bloggers and agree with some of them while disagreeing with others. I’ve also heard negative comments about photographers but then I don’t fell well enough experienced to comment on them. But on the extremely personal, emotional and subjective matter of weddings, objectivity has to come into it somewhere. At some point we have to get to the bare bones here – that bloggers have to make a living from this and that they do need to showcase weddings their readers are going to drool over, to take ideas from and be inspired by to produce the best material they can. I’ve heard “aspirational” used a lot recently to describe real weddings on blogs. I think I’d just sometimes like to see real weddings which were “inspirational” so brides feel they are seeing something real and relevant to them. Ironically, the more individual people try to be, the less unique they become. After all, none of us really feel we fit in, do we? And thank goodness for that.